:changetheworld:

We (means me) Suck

2006-02-18T17:04:00.000-08:00

You know what's going to suck, the day we tally up everything we said we were going to do and realize we didn't actually do anything. If I've come to learn anything about the people of the faith of which i claim, it's that we do alot of talking, we like to sound real fancy like we know what life is all about and can justify ourselves at the drop of the hat but all the while we are talking people die, starve and go to hell. I guess it's not that bad though because in the mean time we probably established a good rule of thumb for how the next situation should be handled and how we can revise our purpose statements to convince people we still care about the rest of the world, all the while we change our church logo to seem "more of the people," and we throw up a website with sweet flash backgrounds where we can post our accolades. If i sound disappointed at this point it's because i am. I am disappointed in myself and my generation. A generation where caring is trendy and you don't have to mean it you just have to wear braclets that make people think you mean it. And as long as you read the trendy books and listen to the newest Christian tracks souls save themselves... based soley off your image. We live in a culture where New Year's resolutions are nothing but a oppertunity to look noble for a day or two and fade under the radar by february. We are the generation of i'll do better next time, sinner saved by grace, oops i did it again, tomorrow is another day lets drink and be marry because we smile even when we don't want to waste of potential. But hey even if at the end of everything we've accomplished nothing we at least looked and sounded good... so raise your glass to empty arguments and childish rivalries, person with the biggest church wins, rule number one is quantity (not quality) and the most quoted theologian gets shot gun on the way to heaven. Let the social decay begin!

The Sickness

2006-02-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

The following was a seemingly pointless blur of typing on a word document that was originally supposed to be a term paper about the effect of the Apostle Paul's ministry on the "modern" church. This has nothing to do with the Apostle Paul but the modern church part probably fits. It hasn't been proof read and could quite possible be heresy but we will never know unless we read it now will we?

It starts as an annoyance… overlooked and ideally forgotten in a matter of moments, a slight discomfort that comes and goes and is no more. But then it grows. It grows with every despondent article and nonchalant news piece that depicts that cesspool of broken, shattered and meaningless lives. Souls pouring over the edge of an overflowing melting pot of apathy and complacent Bible hoarders; this is the world that disgusts me. Everyday this sickness grows stronger and more rampant in my gut and my constant need to distinguish it with it’ll be all right happy songs and wishy washy Bible verse embroidered motivational calendars only makes the sickness grow stronger. It is people like me that make me lye in sleepless aggression wondering if we all shouldn’t just burn in our own fiery chasm of unwillingness. Quite frankly I tired. I am tired of hearing that 3 billion people live in some form of poverty, I am tired of hearing that 57 million people exist in extreme, life-threatening, poverty. I am sure as hell tired of hearing that 30,000 children will die this very day of starvation, malnourishment and incurable sickness… like a common flu. I am tired of having to lower my eyes to a homeless man on the street not because I pity him, but because I know by passing him I am reassuring the fact that in my mind I think I am better than him, yet deep down I know the fiery pits of hell rejoice at my decision. I am tired of dancing on the cracks of this broken world. I am tired of just existing, of not changing and of furthering the pain. The sickness has brought me to the point that I vomit complacent greed and apathetic laziness and fall lifelessly to the feet of my Savior begging Him for an unwarranted chance to make something different, pleading for an undeserved chance to effect on change that in turn will spark another to where one day the name of Jesus Christ splits from the inner crust of our souls and heals, feeds, clothes and loves like it was supposed to from the moment His blood gained our lives…. I want to be Him, so badly I feel sick.

So what will a generation like ours do?

2005-11-10T18:07:00.000-08:00

Warhol eat your heart out... did i just say that?

2005-11-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

If he were to put out a cd...

2005-11-01T21:44:00.000-08:00

Desperatly Seeking Inspiration...

2005-11-01T16:11:00.000-08:00

picking up the pieces...

2005-10-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

I wish i was good at this

2005-10-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

Your Thoughts?

2005-10-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

Got love for smitty city?

2005-10-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

Check out Smittycity.blogspot.com, he's got his head on straight.

THINK.

2005-10-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

In reference to the above picture...

2005-10-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is worse, the fact that the little boy in that picture exists in the cultural and physical state that he does or the fact that regardless of that fact I am going to go to sleep tonight just the same as any other night. I will sleep, having hours ago eaten my fill of Penn Station, twice having stopped at Starbucks, refilled my water bottle numerous times free of charge in one of many waterfountains in walking distance, changed my clothes, washed my hands, never once fearing the danger of not having shelter, or wondering if morning would even come or if the parasites in my stomach would finally end my short and unfortunate life.... I am ridiculously privileged in my state of living. I have virtually everything I could ever need and I am ashamed to say that sometimes this comfort forces me to forget that the rest of the world even exists and that there are little boys like this. As I told you the theme of this blog is change the world, and further more I feel it needs to be the theme of my life. Given that theme it is pertinent to our faith, our mission and our role as human beings that we be aware that this does exist, people are sick and hungry all around us. And rather than just looking at a picture and thinking it might be nice to do something some day to make someone else's life better, why not do something, do anything to make the world a better place. Jesus lived a radical faith transcended comfort and social stigmas and left lasting impressions on the world around Him. It was a lifestyle that provoked social change, he healed, he saved, he loved. No of which is impossible for us to recreate, just unattempted. I don't say these things to sound spiritual or sound as though I am socially aware and active, but to say I am tired of being a stagnant Christian, I am tired of leaving the world around me unaffected, I am tired of people going un-fed, un-healed and un-loved on my watch. We are the generation that has the power to change the world, let's freakin do it...

Random Thoughts...

2005-10-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

I don't normally contribute much to the textual volume of this blog (again my blog my be in severe violation of blog expectations) and seeing as though I am in a bit of creative rut I figured I'd risk tool status and give you people (though I am quite sure there are only about three people who read this) a thought or two.

Thought Numero Uno- I don't like people. Seriously, I've thought about it, weighed the pros and cons and decided I don't think I like anyone. Now I am not saying it's the right way to do life, I'm just being honest. You see Donald Miller told me I have to like people, and seeing as though I normally listen to Donald Miller I thought I'd consider it. You see I am what you might call a Christian, not by title as much as by association, meaning instead of just calling myself something I am something because of association with Christ, thus a Christian. And being a Christian it is apparent, as told to me by Donald Miller and further more by God, who I probably ought to listen to even before Donald Miller, that I must like people, evil dare I say love people. Yet I still feel as though I don't like them. So I figured it might be beneficial to ask myself why? Why don't I like most people, because people lie, they are annoying, they make bad decisions, they talk, they have bad ideas and opinions, half of them don't know what they believe and quit frankly they tick me off... And then it was clear, I know why I don't like people... Because they remind me of myself. That is they remind me of what I am, what I suffer from and the sad state of my existence apart from wholeness in Christ. I lie, I cheat, I steal and other people share these qualities with me, the have the same short comings, the same doubts and the same bad ideas. So why can't I find association with them, why don't I like them, because by separating myself from them I can pretend that I am different, I can pretend that I am better off. I can pretend that I don't have doubt, that I am not flawed, by sitting back and taunting those I grow to hate. But sooner or later I have to accept that I am what I hate, I am my own bad image, I am my own perception of despicable nature. I am not perfect.

Thought Numero Dos- What to do about not liking people. Understand grace, I must understand that simultaneously while dying for me Jesus died for them and that makes the Playing field equal, so instead of separation leading to denial, I need communion that leads to understand. I want to understand other people, understand why they screw up, why they get happy or sad or mad, I want to see the world from their eyes. Whether they love Jesus, hate Jesus or have no idea He exists, I want to see the world from their angle, not even so much that I change them, but that they change me, obviously I want to keep that Christian thing we discussed earlier but how about my tolerance, patience and desire for others to know grace in the new way I have found. But I realize one thing, one important thing. This is in no way possible without first looking at the world through the eyes of God, what I mean is drawing so close to God in order to understand the grace that is required to tolerate myself and thus tolerate others. I want to make a positive impact in this world, I want to be a good person and make people around me better people. And I'd love to allow them to return the favor. So goal number one, like other people.

But I make little to no sense when I talk so what do you people think, again I think there is only three to four of you, so maybe you could comment twice with differing viewpoints just to make things interesting. Regardless of your feelings to the previous suggestions give me your thoughts on my random incoherent thoughts...

When driving to Atlanta, make things on photoshop...

2005-10-06T14:04:00.000-07:00

just plain bored...

2005-10-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

No discription provided...

2005-10-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Got a new camera (technically), took some pictures, put them together...

For Campbell, everyone else look away...

2005-10-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

This was the first thing that came to mind, obviously not a final verdict but how's the direction? Anybody else want to give their input that's cool, even though i am fairly certain only three or four people have ever seen this blog. I'm like the lonely blog that sits in the corner of the cafeteria drawing pictures hoping someone will ask to see one, this self pity is making me thirsty...

I am going to flunk out of college...

2005-09-29T15:01:00.000-07:00

Photoshop will ensure that i do not pass...

assignment two... do stuff for other people

2005-09-28T22:35:00.000-07:00

one day you will all buy records here...

assignment one... the logo

2005-09-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

Why not do it?

2005-09-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

So I realized that the true essence of a blog is probably more words than pictures and fearing that I am in violation of the blog rules and regulations I thought I would type some fancy looking words to go with my pictorials. You may have noticed that the name of this blog is Change the World. You may have also found yourself asking why is that? Well here is why. I am 21 years old and what I have learned is that 21 is the reflection age, it's the point in your life when you stare at the stars late into the night or sit on cliffs and wonder why you are alive and how you are not going to make your attempt to live a laughable endeavor. It's the point in your life when you realize your existence really does have the potential to be something pretty worth while. And at the same time it has the distinct capability to be a total and complete waste. This has recently occurred to me, more than once, in fact I think about it a lot, and given that fact the idea of wasting all of this really started to freak me out, I mean what if I did, what if all I ever was was pretty decent, or ok and at the end of my life I printed out my list of accomplishments and no matter how long or short it was it was nothing but a long list of seemingly unimportant accomplishments. I mean what accomplishment is really worth a whole life, everything cool has already been invented and there is relatively no chance I will cure a disease, so what is my proverbial niche? Well I stayed up many nights wondering this, how I could make my apparent average presence become some extraordinary life that people would be inspired by... And then it hit me. I think the reason we seem ineffective is because we don't think big enough, I mean we say ok I will be this and my day will look like this. I will be a doctor and cure this, I will be a minister and focus on this people group, but what if I said from this day forward my purpose in life is to change the entire world? Like all of it. It's skewed morals, false view of truth, corrupt idea of beauty... All of it. I think the only way to live this life to it's fullest is to devote yourself to something big, something that will change you as much as you change it, something that will stretch you in a million different ways, something that makes you feel small, something so daunting that when you try and comprehend how you will do it you are instantly thrust upward in an overwhelming comprehension that God is huge and that the only thing we wills for us is to be completely enthralled with Him and show that to everyone we meet. That's changing the world, being what God designed when he breathed life into Adam, an image, a persona, and reflection of the creator. That's the kind of life that stands out, the kind of life that begs onlookers to look beyond possessions and accomplishments and straight into the source of the life that was... Straight into the eyes of the Creator. If I spend the rest of my life doing nothing but trying to have the biggest impact for the glory of God as I possibly can there is nothing about me that will be wasted, I will have devoted my life to the greatest journey of all time... So that's a long and incoherent explanation of why my blog is called that... What do you think?

walking...

2005-09-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

No good explaination... this is pure boredom and madness... but please lend me your thoughts...

Life is for living...even at 2am.

2005-09-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you read a thought provoking short story at 2am with the soothing sounds of Chris Martin locked in your skull... I jotted down some ideas on life and before you knew it I had created an image to capture the moment. The jotted down ideas made for a sweet background in my opinion. I may be a genius, or a huge tool, probably the latter. One day i'll put some real deep thoughts on this blog... mostly to increase my chances of crushes and high fives... there may be the occasional pure hearted moment though, be ready for those they can be intense. Until that day go to some websites that will make you just as, if not more sappy than i am... ONE.org, lowercasepeople.com, Relevent.com... keeps the mind sharp and impresses the ladies...

Day One

2005-09-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

So here it is, in all it's proverbial splendor, my first blog. It's been a long road to Blog-dom, glad I got here before it wasn't cool anymore. Seeing as though it's getting late and I still have to muster in a Faulkner short story all you are going to get tonight is some less that amazing images I toiled away at photoshop to create. I know these don't really blow the hair back but it's a start. I'd type descriptions but there is the fore mentioned debacle of lateness and short stories. Here's to the night....

2005-09-22T19:57:00.000-07:00